Sometimes we make wrong decisions in life. We do things that we regret afterwards or we decide not to do anything and regret the missed opportunity afterwards.
Such things are simply part of life, because we are not perfect (and we don't have to be).
But if we just can't come to terms with having made a wrong decision and think over and over again about why we didn't do it differently, then we create a permanent source of stress and tension in life.
And then it is important that we forgive ourselves for this wrong decision and let it go.
Because "forgive" means nothing more than "giving away" something and letting it go. To say: "From now on, this thing has no place in my here and now".
And that's exactly where the following little micro exercise can help.
- On your next walk in the woods, find a leaf on the ground under a tree.
- Look at the sheet carefully. What color is it? What shape does it have? How does it feel? What does it smell like?
- Now take a "would have", "would have", "would" thought ("If only I had done it differently back then.") that is going around in your head
- Pin this thought to the sheet of paper in your imagination. You may see in your imagination how the thought is written on the page.
- Then let go of the leaf. Watch as the leaf, along with your thought, slowly sails down to the ground, is picked up by the ground and the earth, and disappears among all the many other leaves.
- Imagine how the leaf, together with the thought, is now slowly decomposed and transformed by the earth.
- Thank yourself and the earth for letting go of this thought.
- If you're doing the exercise with very persistent thoughts, then imagine that with the leaf you were able to let go of a small aspect of the thought – just as there are many leaves on a tree that can fall to the ground, your thought can also have many aspects that you can let go of bit by bit.
- If you like, repeat the exercise again on another day with the same thought, knowing that you can now let go of another aspect of the thought.
By visibly letting go of the leaf with the thought associated with it, you give your subconscious an impulse to actually let go of the thought for itself.
So the exercise is not about you going home afterwards and everything is "fluffy" right away. But the impulse set can continue to work in your subconscious, so that the importance of the thought can continue to decrease.
And by the way:
Nowhere is it written that we must keep a decision once made for all time. We have the option of adjusting our decision or making a completely new decision at any time.
This can also be a helpful impulse when it comes to letting go of stubborn "would have", "would have", "would" thoughts.
One more note:
The exercise is not intended for serious problems and related thoughts. As always, you should seek professional support in such cases.